Monday, April 21, 2008

All kinds of four

Well, today is the day, just 4 short years ago, my life changed. We (daddy and I) were just 2 for sooo long! Then you joined us! I had no idea what to expect, I wasn't sure I could still be the same person that I was before you came. I wasn't sure I wanted to be. I can remember that we had a little baby sprinkle at Daddy's school on Tuesday 4/20. (AND discussed the repercussions of you being born to us on THAT date....)

I was have a bit of back pain. We went home and I was feeling a little worn out and wanted to rest a bit. I woke up at around midnight and I knew that something was happening...I waited for about 2 hours and then woke Daddy to start getting ready to call off of work. He had to drive down to school to set up his sub plans.

He was gone almost 2 hours.

That was my last time to be alone with you still directly nourished by my very being. You did not even need to breathe yet, I was doing all that still for you! I rested between crescendos with Oliver and Jesse on the bed. I think they knew and did not leave my side.

It was a few short hours later that you joined us, hand aside your face, yelling out loud....
(and you haven't stopped since then!) Right to your Daddy's tears. I think he was shocked to see you! Even though we knew that I was carrying a baby, when you arrived, there was still that momentary, "Oh My! There is the baby!"
You are one on the go little girly girl!

....And now today.
I just went and checked on you, napping on the couch, flushed from a bit of a bug that is throwing you for a loop.
You are silent and straight faced, no questions-about-to-be-asked in eyes right now.
Sometimes I wish that I could turn back and re visit the things that I can't quite remember and force them into my thoughts to make them permanent recollections. Your first smile, first steps, first sign. The farther we move away from them in time, the less I can picture them.

I am just so overwhelmed with thoughts of you right now that I can not even put the words down sensibly.
Happy Birthday my little piddle. Four years of joy, four years of family, four years of "Oh My God, what is next!?"

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